steeze

KELLY BUNDY

SUMMER 2012

shipwreck

It's Titanics 15yr anniversary slash rerelease. Arriving the same week as the Titanic dvd i ordered from netflix literally 8 months ago. Well let me tell you about Titanic my peoples. First of all dont rent that shit on netflix cmon maryam whats wrong with you.

Secondly... based on movie rerelase facts I guess it was 15 years ago this time of year when my most memorable Titanic experience came crashing into an emotional iceberg. I went to see it my Freshman year of highschool with my first and questionably only boyfriend. We sat in the balcony, i wore a GAP puffcoat... you know basic 90s highschool shit. Well about 9/10ths into the movie he leans over and whispers that we "probably should break up". I was so shocked I couldnt believe it. Mariah and Bone Thugs' Breakdown lyrics raced through my head in about 5 seconds. I might have even made my Mariah "despair" facial expression----->

but it was too dark to notice. I "agreed" and then we held hands while i cried to "the movie" and pretended to be feeling similarly (lyrics alert non die hard Mariah fans).

Ok heres when shit gets fucked up. This muthafucker paged me later that night to turn on 96.5, yes KOIT and what was it? you guessed wrong because you arent as gay as this. it was Celine Dion My Heart Will Go On. thats right guys, he led me not only down the hole of rejection but straight into the arms of madame celine. And the ultimate ULTIMATE kicker was when he paged me minutes later with a question: Will your heart go on? Or more specifically:

111177-401112-438127-90-017?

anyways breakups and Titanic were on my mind tonight so i thought id share this story.

disclaimer: i went to a celine dion concert in the summer after 8th grade with my dad. it was awesome obv.

Day of fun

Me and moi wanted to drive to Santa Fe today but then we googled it

iPhone casing

sprangtime thoughts

i think im starting to get my life together. there are a few indicators that this is happening. 1) i havent received a mass text in over a year. this means i have no one left in my life (and by life i mean phone same thing) that would send a mass text. 1.5) on that note, i didn't receive any Happy St. Patricks Day texts this year either thank god.

2) i have enough money to pile on the heaviest vegetables at the salad bar. this was always a personal goal for me. sometimes to prove to myself how bossed out ive become i just get a whole plate of cucumbers. do u know how much that shit costs? like $12. its whatever for me now.

3) i dont cry every week. i used to cry a lot. however i have found through field research using myself as a subject that decreasing relationships with confused and selfish men yields a more positive outlook on life and an increase in fulfilling daily experiences.

4) i pretty much know what im doing at work. except when my patients tell me they have a weird feeling of gas that comes and goes. i really dont ever know what anyone expects me to do about that. just fart? get a CT scan? pretty much anything in between? eh.bottom line im doing things right. i gotta give a big shout to Ganesha who has so kindly entered my life via CaviarMoet. man do i talk to that muthafucka a lot. Really helpful little guy.

but wait. i know my nails always look unexpectedly divine and i zip around with such unrelenting energy, but on the hairs of this old lady who is currently yelling out while i write this' chinny chin chin i swear to you there are still some major improvements that can be made. spring is here and its important to lay out some goals for this new year. i dont wanna just throw in the towel even though things are going so well.

PLANS:
1) it would be nice to sleep at night
1b) and see the day on a daily basis
2) have a defining point where my thighs end and my ass starts
3) learn about all the planets in our solar system enough to explain it to a child
4) secretly start yoga. somewhere with skinny LA girls not chunky hippies preferably
5) be in spoon position at least 1/4 of the month
6) somehow contribute to my dads home having walls and floors
7) this one is private, cant blog about it
8) take a trip somewhere for 2 weeks
9) somehow move closer to owning a farm with goats
10) really commit to liking water as a beverage

ok i gotta go all of a sudden.
bye

SHIT GIRLS PLAY

DOWNLOAD MY EXTREMELY SHORT MIX!

aka my current life playlist on repeat!

click me to download!

Concord Crimes

i love oakland but cmon. one pair of Jordans come out and the whole city goes to shit. someone literally got shot over these shoes last week, and me... well as some of you may already know on this december 2011 shoe release day, got car jacked for my prized possessions. lets not even get into the fact that it happened when i was going in my house for 2 minutes to grab my flu shot declination form. the flu shot declination that has caused me more anguish than the flu itself. the flu shot declination that has taken over my life. this form btw (ok im obv getting into it)... needed to be not only faxed but also scanned and emailed to my job bc clearly their two copies (one in human resources and one in employee health) wasnt enough. ok so my shit got jacked, someone came up super fat on xmas... and im guessing at least 4 pairs of Jordans were bought. i know this sounds fucked up, it could have been a middle aged woman trying to feed her cats... but seriosuly if you were in oakland that day you would know what i meant. i cant explain the tension in the city that day. the energy was off... there was greed and anxiety in the air. depression and jealousy... just a lot of shit. in the following days i tried to do some research on the rates of crime during Jordan release weeks to see if they skyrocketed... but i realized i didnt care enough. im also just pretty sure im right. i bet if i did collect some compelling evidence and put together a colorful powerpoint, michael jordan himself would stop the continuation of Jordan production from here on out. ps. the Concords are ugly.

The one day I was blonde

Um....

My new style icon

Until I have my Spring 2012 Ready to Wear template together, here's Lana Del Ray my newest muse. I'm seeing a lot of flowers in my hair this year for some reason... and she pulls it off lookin so soft and bad all at once I love it

The Halloween Anti-Hoe

For me and my friends it's that time of year again. To make the boys drool with sexual yearnings. But only if their sex drive is driven by their brain, which is not real but must exist somewhere? I dunno. Well here's me as Steve Jobs (which ironically really offended some skanky pirate girl at a party) and Moi as Scout Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird. big shouts to literature and technology! So hot right now!

Fall in the Bay

on repeat

and every demon wants his pound of flesh

but i like to keep some things to myself

Blogging on the go

Hey guys I'm blogging from my new identity the new iPhone Maryam!!! Ok this is only a test. Here's a pic of today's only awake hour not at work...

Xoxo
MK

another love blog...

do you want to feel like a real human being? i happen to be one of the chosen ones that feels it almost daily, which is quite unique im starting to realize. not so much when i have to scan myself in four different locations on my body at work, no thats not my most human moment. thats more of a grocery item moment. but thanks to my visionary visions, i seem to find human moments often. ive found in my field studies in the "real world" (what is that btw, who knows) that humans unlike many other species hold hands. they like to talk about their bowel movements, and they need support. and most humanly of all, in our most humantastic moments we feel others feelings with them. and for them. this is where i believe love lives. in the shared moments between people.

i realized this at my homegirl "Penny's" wedding a few weeks ago. i call her Penny (not her real name) in efforts to secure her identity and to bring the blog full circle later with another Penny themed accent. anyways Penny's wedding got me feeling so humany, as on this magical eve in Dumbo, NY i experienced this crazy feeling of joy for someone else's joy. not to say that my life is revolved around myself but cmon guys, you cant sit here and tell me you feel overwhelming feelings of joy for other peoples joy all the time. that shit was so deep and profound i felt like it peeled layers of dying hopeless heart off of me and out popped a new ripe fruit of a Maryam heart in its place.

love it was. love that peeled the decrepit peels of hater heart away. and it is more contagious than MRSA, guys. it was my deep love for Penny and my momentary selflessness that let me feel like a human. because nothing makes you feel more connected to humanity than this.

ok this is getting Deepak Chopra meets Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey. hopefully "deep" is the common theme here. if not, at least its a reminder that LOVE yall, is anywhere you look. it doesnt even have to be yours to be yours, you know?

and in this fucked current state of the world, love gets forgotten. and marriage which used to be the ultimate declaration of love is sometimes viewed as anything but. so heres a shout to love, marriage and Penny.

and to end with an Ode...

Brown Penny by William Butler Yeats

I whispered, 'I am too young,'

And then, 'I am old enough',

Wherefore I threw a penny

To find out if I might love.

'Go and love, go and love, young man,

If the lady be young and fair.'

Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,

I am looped in the loops of her hair.

O love is the crooked thing.

There is nobody wise enough

To find out all that is in it,

For he would be thinking of love

Till the stars had run away

And the shadows eaten the moon.

Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,

One cannot begin it too soon.

in my mini skirt dress

ironically been knockin Otis Redding daily on the ol' LA commute #inrotation. because one: throwback music is so summery to me and two: because ive been feeling oh so young and weary these days. (however for visual please substitute miniskirt dress for non-matching and fading scrubs)

i did get a lil mug face on the jayz kanye release today. this one slaps way harder no offense guys.

in Ode i will wear a miniskirt dress this weekend.

midsummer life check-in:

dominating feeling besides young and weary: brave

conquered: worst nursing shift on earth

favorite snacks: watermelon and frozen grapes

hair: is getting lighter

nails: absolutely horrendous in every way

art projects completed: NOTHING

looking forward to: my birthday!

signing off,

one dead ass beezy

i make videos now

exploring the world of videography. thanks to macbook, i put this lil bday shout out vid together in 2 days yay! for my homie Nate Kuo who turned 30 today. omg tears of joy... we're big kids now. (wait by "we" i mean him... bc im still ridin out those 20s)

anyone have any other video ideas? im really into this all a sudden

movin up in the world like elevators

but am i? am i really moving up in the world like elevators? because elevators arent really going up more than half the time. and maybe its my overspent time on these transport crates that make me over think this whole elevator thing but well it just feels like one big metaphor for life waiting to be blogged about.

i press the destination button, hopefully certain where i wanna go. Many times i am in fact wrong and am just used to pressing up or down (insert metaphor here). Then by the time the elevator arrives, im usually pissed at the time it took to get to me, or conversely not prepared for its almost immediate HERE I AM ding. So then i get on, and a variety of things happen in this transit process... from being solo in the ride feeling isolated and alone, to being pushed into a crowd of people going the same place i am for the same reason and wondering is this the group of people that i share life interests and activities with? why are all of them filipino middle-aged women or jewish men in lab coats? Theres also the occasional crossing of paths with an oh-so-intriguing co-rider who i have approximately 11.5 seconds to make a life lasting impression on, in addition to lock down some kind of exchange of contact information. which has happened exactly zero times.

Then as usual the doors of life open and regardless of my intended destination i usually just get off only to find myself in the wrong place by myself (i think we're at metaphor 7 now); feeling stupid and confused as to how i got so far and then just forgot what i was doing. and bottom line i just have to wait again and get back on and maybe now im late and stressed but thus my destination is reached. As u may have pieced together, I have thunk this topic to the end... and im sure this is only because i spend so much time on these fuckers that now i wrote a damn near essay about it.

on a positive note, i sure do love the slimming mirror in front of the elevator on my floor. It always gives me confidence to seize the day. Its really amazing what a slimming mirror can do for your approach to life. Anyways, for your viewing pleasure I have captured one week of me waiting for the elevator at my abode. i know, ive blown your minds. this is pulitzer prize-winning shit right here guys.

also as an added bonus i have erased the last two paragraphs of this blog because cmon who are we kidding... this really is a stupid topic to discuss. ok wait... quick run down the last few paragraphs in case anyone is dying to know:

1) glass elevators are fucking sick

2) willy wonkas elevator is the coolest on earth

3) did anyone else go to the Hyatt in SF to ride the indoor elevators with visiting family members or is that a persian thing?

4) thank god i actually have an elevator. thank you god.

5) im pretty sure im gonna have to save someones life on an elevator. ive already seen it happen in my dreams a few times.

6) one day i will have a penthouse with an elevator that opens into the entry hallway.

OH

MY

GOD

love all day

this month in balloons

a pink balloon just passed by my window. i think it was a good luck charm... & got me thinkin damn. balloons have made a huge comeback this year for me.

first balloon obsession are these glass balloon ceiling adornments or whatever they are. so fuckin tight, i gotta go see these in real life. i prolly will be able to afford one in like 10 years. ill be 37 then... i guess thats cool, ill prolly still love balloons in my 30s.

and then of course my balloon obsession of the year:

HOUSE OF BALLOONS

been listening to this one on repeat this week. hits so hard around 3:50. feeeeel me? makes me feel baaaaaad in a good way.

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD!

keep it poppin,

MK

in the streets

thursday in DTLA. didnt even miss my car today...

camila was pooling across the street so rooftop hopping is what i did

we went HAM on some picture taking. it was kind of wrong.

oona would have told me to live in the moment.

LA girls for Marc Jacobs

wait no but forreal we got hella lost even though we basically all live here. oh well mas pics

We made it to free night at MOCA for Art in the Streets. it was pretty cool... i mean not that i know much about this stuff called Street Art bc i never was in the street art world but i was legitimately part of the jocking people who were into it world which means i get some clout right? maybe not. anyways i had fun at the show.

geez look how amazing... my bun is tho.

this was just not right.

hella feelin this Kaws stuff

and then of course theres just art in the streets...

which contrasts so nicely with all the El Pollo Locos everywhere.

anyways that was quite the streety day.

k love you DTLA lets hang more!!!

xoxo